The Story of Stuff

Have you ever read a book or an article or seen a movie that changed your life?  I mean, really made you think, "Wow.  Everything I have thought, or have been doing up to now, has to change.  Now."

That is what The Story of Stuff: How Our Obsession with Stuff is Trashing the Planet, our Communities, and Our Health--and a Vision for Change by Annie Leonard did for me.

I found the link for the short youtube video via the Center For a New American Dream (which is awesome in and of itself, by the way).  Steve and I watched that, and then I decided to borrow the book from the library.  The video was made before the book, so the book expands and digs deeper on the topics represented in the video--with the same cartoon-y graphics, and colloquial tone as the video.  It is a very approachable book; Leonard does a great job of presenting depressing, complex information in a matter-of-fact, simple way.  Throughout the book, she also talks about hopeful changes that are occurring that relate to each topic and subtopic.  This keeps the book from being so overwhelmingly sad that you want to stop reading.

Me, I couldn't read it fast enough!  I have a degree in Natural Resources, so the environmental issues were not new to me, but seeing how they are so related to the workers' rights issues, and racial equality issues, further convinced me that a) the environment is the root of everything, and thus b) you cannot work for labor rights or hunger eradication or racial equity without also working for environmental justice.

"The crises of poverty, inequality, and the environment are all related—and they are all related to consumption.  It is simply not an option for those of us in the wealthy countries to refuse to reevaluate our consumption patterns; the planet is in crisis, we’re not sharing fairly, and it’s not even making us happy." ~ Annie Leonard, the Story of Stuff

One thing I especially appreciated about The Story of Stuff was that Leonard did not shy away from hard topics.  She asks us to truly evaluate our "free market" economy, and see if the way that the U.S. is being run is really the way we think  it should be.  Lots of other countries have chosen not to have democracies in the same way that America has democracy, and they are doing fine.  People in more socialist-leaning countries report greater happiness than people in the U.S. do.  Leonard isn't saying that we need to be socialist, but what she is saying is that the current modus operandi isn't working, and we need to find something that does. 

"Victor Lebow, after WWII: our enormously productive economy…demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfaction, our ego satisfaction, in consumption…we need things consumed, burned up, replaced, and discarded an at ever accelerating rate." ~ Annie Leonard, the Story of Stuff

Democracy does not have to equal consumption.  We do not need to buy things in order to prove that we are the land of the free and the home of the brave.  Indeed, our adherence to the work-spend mantra is tying us even more strongly to the rat race and our own unhappiness: that is not freedom.  Consumption is a new kind of tyranny.

Leonard helped me to see the real price tag.  When I took environmental economics in college, we tried to assign monetary value to things that Nature does.  But flood abatement, soil retention, air cleansing, and carbon sequestration are very had to put a tag on.  And so when those things are gone, we as consumers--who caused their demise--never see that cost in our credit card statements.

Leonard does not say to stop consuming things.  Even mushrooms use resources when the grow in the forest.  We have the right, as a species on this planet, to use resources.  What we don't have the right to do is overuse resources. 

"What I question is not consumption in the abstract but consumerism and overconsumption.  While consumption means acquiring and using goods and services o meet one’s needs, consumerism is the particular relationship to consumption in which we seek to meet our emotion and social needs through shopping and we define and demonstrate our self-worth through the Stuff we own.  And overconsumption is when we take far more resources than we need and than the planet can sustain, as is the case in most of the US as well as a growing number of other countries." ~ Annie Leonard, The Story of Stuff

I agree with that statement.  And I am trying to live a life that reflects my belief.

Homeostasis of Stuff

love this shirt!  have owned for more than one year!

I have discovered that getting rid of items, stuff, junk, even things you really liked, is easy.  What is hard is not replacing them. 

I sold a bunch of my tank tops to a local consignment shop, and relegated a few t shirts to my pajama drawer (really: a white t shirt when I hang out with a toddler all day?).  So, I went to that same consignment shop to go buy more tank tops--pretty ones, feminine ones.  Came home with some great shirts at great prices. 

And then my drawer was full again.

Well, some of the shirts are difficult to breastfeed in.  Steve informed me that he didn't like a few of the others.  So I sorted through all my shirts, and selected stack to sell to the consignment shop. 

And my drawer is kind of empty again.  And I was convinced that I needed to go shopping, because I didn't have enough shirts anymore.  Thankfully, I thought about this a little bit more, and decided that if I still feel like I don't have enough shirts in a few weeks, then I can go shopping.  It is like I am used to have x amount of whatever, and so when I have less than x amount, even when that was thoughtfully and deliberately done, it feels...uncomfortable.

orange nursing tank top September 2011

Of course, I have plenty of shirts.  And I still wear the same 5 ones over and over.

I try to enact the "one in, one out" rule.  But I have fallen into a trap of minimalism: if I only have a few of something, be that mixing bowls, bath towels, tank tops, or socks, then they need to be the perfect ones.  They have to be exactly what I want; clothing needs to exquisitely reflect my style and taste.

In Oregon, the rain jacket is standard attire

Now for some things, this makes sense.  If you only have a few pots and pans, then you need to have what you use: no sense in having a double boiler if what you really need is a sturdy stock pot.  But if you have the 5 qt pot with steamer baskets, is it necessary to also own the 6 qt stock pot?  Maybe it is; only you can know that.

But clothing has become an issue for me.  Which is kind of funny, because clothing never used to be my "thing."  Ask my sister; she deplored my selection of clothes every morning in high school.  In college, I routinely wore the same four pairs of pants, the same 6 long sleeved t shirts, and the same black fleece jacket to class.  And I seriously never thought twice about it, and I don't think anyone else did, either.

I have had good reasons to buy new clothes: none of my pre-baby clothes fit post-baby.  It took me ages to lose the baby weight.  I am now under my pre-pregnancy weight.  All of these do, in my mind, necessitate, or at least validate, wardrobe editing.



orange nursing tank top July 2012

I have to come to accept that at any given time, my clothes may not perfectly project "me" because "me" changes.  And just because I do own fewer clothes/shoes/purses than the average woman in America, does not mean that I have a right or need to go acquire more of those items.  I am learning to let empty space be ok.  I am learning that just because I am not full, does not mean I am not satisfied.  I am learning to be content with "enough."

Natural Pesticide

Lots of people have pesticide applied all over their entire lawn down here in Florida.  To me, this makes no sense for many reasons.
1. The people who usually do this lawn-wide bioterrorism are NEVER actually outside playing or lounging in their lawns!  They are on the sidewalk, the patio, or, more likely, holed up inside the house.  So why bother with making your lawn bug-free?
2. This makes sense, right?  I mean, who wants to hang out with carcinogenic chemicals?
3. Almost every county in Florida already sprays for mosquitoes.  In our county, I'm pretty sure it's not 2,4-D or anything like that, but this other compound that is supposedly harmless to humans, but binds the mosquitoe's wings together so that the newly hatched mosquitoes can't fly.  It may be harmless (I doubt it) but it also doesn't seem terribly effective.  Come take laundry off the line in my back yard at 5 pm. 
4. Only about 1% of insects in your yard and garden are actually harmful.  So the other 99%, which include bees that pollinate your flowers, and butterflies that make you say "oh, how pretty!" are also getting torched.  Not fair.
5. For things like wasps, black widow spiders, termites, and fire ants, you can spot-exterminate.  Or, just have the pest control people spray around the perimeter of your house, as infrequently as you can stand it.
6.  It's Florida, people.  I am convinced that humans were not actually meant to live here.  I think we should all leave, immediately, and let the fire ants, pythons, water moccasins, black widows, and cockroaches have a good ol' time before it's all underwater in 50 years.  Just accept that bugs are part of the equation.
7. We have free, natural, biodynamic, native pest control constantly patrolling our neighborhood! 

ibises eating bugs

8.  They may not be the cutest, prettiest birds ever, but they're a lot better looking than containers of pesticide.

Ditching the to do list

likes to steal my hats, August 2012

I like having a clean house.  I like it being dusted, swept, wiped down, sanitized (within reason) and clutter-free on a regular, frequent basis.

I also have a toddler.  And yes, I could have a dusted, swept, wiped down, sanitized, clutter-free house on a regular, frequent basis.  But in saying yes to those things, I have to say no to so much more.

And I am tired of saying no.  I am tired of being frustrated with Rachel when she wants to make putting the blocks away into a game.  I am tired of losing my temper when she "helps" me sweep, and succeeds only in spreading the sand over the floor even more.  I am tired of staring guiltily at my chore chart, which mocks with its clean, uncrossed off surface.  Even more, I detest how stressed I am when 4:00 rolls around and the only thing to "show" for my day is that I made the bed, there are beans in the crockpot, and my mixing bowls are strewn all over the house. 

silly game! Aug 2012

I had told Steve a month or so ago that any given day, I could accomplish 1 of 3 things.  Either the house was clean, or I got enough rest and sleep, or Rachel had a great, playful day.  None of those could coincide.  And you know?  That's awful! 

Because what kind of person, woman, or mom am I teaching Rachel to be when I snap at her for unloading the dishwasher that I am loading?  When I feel like a failure because I haven't wiped down the counters in 3 days?  When I delay, distract, and even, shamefully, ignore her when she asks to nurse, or play, or read a book? 

Now, some things just have to happen.  And that's life.  I have to hang the clothes on the clothesline.  She doesn't like waiting while I do that, and shows her displeasure by taking the laundry out of the basket and throwing it on the lawn.  Dishes need to get washed (she likes helping with that).  I make the bed everyday, and water the garden almost everyday, too.  And there are many other things like that.  I am not advocating living like a slob and just saying "oh, well, I have a toddler, you know."

Sometimes I wonder how much further I can lower my expectations for my to do list, without abandoning my principles entirely.  So two nights ago, I took down my chore chart.  It is now hidden in a closet.  I still know what needs to get done that day.  I do have a little pad of paper that I write down things to do, like grocery shopping, make bubbles, respond to email from mom, etc.  But there is no master list.  There is no tangible way for me to judge my success or failure for the day.

stacking blocks on the cat

Which is a very good thing.  Because raising attached children in a gentle, respectful way is all about the intangible, unmeasurable things.  Hugs, kisses, silly games, nursery rhymes, playdates, swimming, chasing the cat, potty training, learning to say "frog"--all of those, and especially the attitude with which I do them--those are the most important things in my life.  

brushiing Benny the Beaver's teeth

I still intend to keep a moderately clean, decluttered house.  But my priority is raising my daughter.  I can always sweep the floor later.  But connecting with her is often a now-or-never proprosition. 

Breastfeeding: it's the minimalist thing to do!

Rachel very excited to be breastfeeding on a hike, Colorado, 2011

Breastfeeding is the minimalist thing to do!

Just think of all the stuff you don't need: bottles, bottle brushes, formula cans, nipples, nipple caps, nipples in different sizes, bottle warmers, bottle coolers, pacifiers, pacifier holders. 

You just need...you!  And your baby, of course.  Which is good, for someone as forgetful as me. 

The only real breastfeeding equipment I needed was herbs and medication to overcome my low milk supply issues, and an SNS.  But I made my own tinctures, and all the packaging for my medicine, for the 14 months I used it, probably amounted to 2 cans of formula.  The SNS was equal to less than one bottle.  Plus, I just discovered that Nordstroms will alter any bra you bring them to turn it into a nursing bra--how cool is that?

I believe that mamas and babies are a true dyad for the first year, and so I never left Rachel for longer than she could go without nursing.  I am fortunate to be a full-time, stay at home mom, and so we never needed bottles or a breast pump.  I tried to convince her to take a pacifier so that I could get a bit more sleep, but by that point she was convinced that the real deal was the only deal in town, and she wasn't having any substitutes!

Simplification leads to a more genuine life.  Nursing Rachel, and forgoing all the paraphernalia that could have supplanted or supplemented breastfeeding, has been wonderful for us.  Rachel and I share a bond and a connection that could not be the same if I had not nursed her--was still not nursing her. 

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

The Past is not in Your Possessions

October 2008

When it comes to decluttering, downsizing, editing, and minimizing our lives, we can get hung up pretty quick by the past.

Having an item links you to a special moment.  It is the past made tangible.  It elicits memories, smiles, and stories.  It helps you remember what you do not want to forget.

And I say, it isn't necessary!  I (still) have my high school letter jacket.  I never wear.  I never plan on wearing it.  I do plan on cutting it up and appliqueing the letter onto a quilt I am going to make.  But if the letter jacket disappeared into thin air tomorrow, it would not negate my experience of marching band.  It would, however, give me a bit more room in my closet.

lighting unity candle at our wedding October 2008

I recently went through our living room bookshelves.  Again.  I feel like they are my nemesis in decluttering.  This time, I threw away the unity candle from our wedding.  I donated to  the birth center a Willow Tree figure given to me by a friend, depicting a mother and her newborn baby.  Ditching the candle (a large, petroleum, carcinogenic fragrance-laced affair) does not mean that I am not married.  It does not mean that I love my husband, or that I wish to be less unified with him.  I do not think about our wedding any less.  Giving away the figurine does not mean I no longer value my friend.  It does not mean I forget what it is like to hold an infant.  It does not take away from the fact that my friend thought of me, or that I dearly love my own baby.



December 2010

My possessions do not contain my past.  I am not embodied in them.  And I prefer to remember the past in other ways than things I have to dust or rearrange.  I talk with my friends and reminisce with my family.  I create an annual photobook of our family, that contains maximum memories at minimum space.  Just because I don't own it, doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Contentment is a Learned Art: Hair!

shampoo + hairpins July 2012

You know what is super hard to find?  A woman who is thrilled with her hair--her natural hair.  I'm talking about just the hair on her head.  It seems that our hair is too thin, too thick, too grey, too blonde, too dark, too curly, too straight, too frizzy...or not blonde enough, not brown enough, not short enough, not long enough, not highlighed enough, not wiry enough...

Therre are myriads of ways to overcome your hair's natural tendencies, and coerce it into doing what you want.  But I have found that badgering my hair into my ideal of Perfect Hair takes a lot of money, time, and chemicals, which are three things that I am no longer interested on wasting on my "do".

In college, I had my hair highlighted blonde a few times.  But my hair was long...and thick...and wow, did it take forever of sitting in that chair for the job to be done well!  I liked how it looked, sure, but not the price tag attached to it.   Then I bought a straightener, but used it less than 50 times in 4 years.  We just sold it on Ebay for $75, and I am glad to be rid of one more thing in the bathroom drawers, and $75 in the black.  I threw out my old bottle of hairspray, and gave away my big hair clips and curly styling brush.

I have a wonderful hairdresser, and she says that one reason she likes her job so much is that she "loves making people feel pretty."  I know that I like feeling pretty, and that my hair is definitely part of that equation.  Thankfully, I am now content letting a simple shampoo and some hairpins do the trick. 

There are some things about my hair that I'm still not keen on.  But I refuse to despair or fight to change those things any longer.  It is quite liberating to be content with the hair God has given me!